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Kingfisher

7/31/2022

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I took a wrong turning down to the river last night.
Got lost.
It was stuffy.
I got it in my head that I hadn’t locked the car. Kept visualising it on the side of the road, open to anyone who walked by and tried the door. I hoped they wouldn’t take the letter I hadn’t got round to replying to yet.
The path I was on was taking me further away from the river.
Eventually I found a gap in the hedge. I slipped through to another field. 
Still no river in sight. 
I headed in the general direction to another hedge. Slipped over a ditch to another field. Literally. Slid down the ditch on my bum, getting my leggings muddy.
I had no idea where I was but I’d come so far that the only option was to carry on.
I picked up my pace.
I told myself that OK, the car was unlocked. But what’s the chance a thief will drive down that very quiet road and try the door? Very low chance.
I reasoned that I was allowed a shorter swim. Ten minutes max.
Another field and at last. The river!
I got to the bank and paused. There was movement in the sky. I suppose because I’ve never been so close to one before, it looked larger than any of the others I’d seen - a kingfisher! I watched it fly past. The glistening orange and blue. A glimpse into another world. Another time.
I sensed something else move. Another one! TWO kingfishers in one sitting! My grin is wide still now, as I write this!
And what’s extra magic is that I sort of knew I’d see a kingfisher. I thought, it HAS to happen, there HAS to be something magic about this evening, it can’t be ALL stress.
Because it can’t. No feeling can last forever. They run out of steam.
There’s magic out there waiting for you, if you keep your eyes peeled, glimpses into other worlds. 
My swim was short but great. Then I pegged it up the hill to the car.
It was locked.
-
The image is by Jackie Morris from the book Lost Words by Robert Macfarlane (now also a play) about words that have been removed from a children’s dictionary.
Have you spotted any glimpses into other worlds lately?
Sending love to you,
Ruth Nadia x
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Festival Times

7/29/2022

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What are your top festival survival tips?

The first ever festival I went to was Glastonbury in 1997. So so muddy. I was 16. And green. On the first night my tent got slashed and my wallet, which was in my jeans pocket, was stolen. Not the best start to a festival! I resorted to helping random people sell cider. Just to have some cider. And money. I can still remember shouting: "CIDER! 3 for a FiVER!" The rest of the night is a bit of a blur to be honest...

Ever since then, I've always slept with my wallet in my sleeping bag. Top tip.

And of course, in those days I would have said to bring enough booze. And some wellies. Learnt a lot that first Glastonbury...

These days at a festival I'm the calm in the storm. I'm usually massaging, providing a place for people to be quiet and to be cared for before they skip off into the chaos again.

My festival tips now are a bit dull - I got a new sleeping mat last year which helps at night. And earplugs are my friends.
My top tip would be to seek out the sauna. There's almost always a sauna at a festival. Such a good reset. Get clean and fresh and make friends all at the same time.

This summer, August 25 - 28 I will be at Shambala with Katie Challis, offering massage and reiki. Are any of you going to be there? Come say hello if so.

Wishing you the best festival times and for those of you who aren't into them, enjoy your lovely bed. Yum.

If you have a festival survival tip that might be useful to others, please share it in the comments.

Sending love, however and wherever you are,
Ruth Nadia x

Ps. Did you spot the mystery hand in the photo? For some reason it really tickles me.
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Tree love

7/4/2022

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The first time I hugged a tree was at a rave in the Hollies in Leeds when I was about 21. My friend George showed me what to do. We slipped off from the banging techno beats and hugged trees. It felt AMAZING! Yes ok I was probably high on something or other but the tree felt. Wow.

Since then, it was something I did occasionally. In private. It always felt ace.

In 2020 I started a morning routine that included setting a 5 min timer and hugging a tree every single day, soaking up that tree energy. Yum!

I was called a hippy at school but now I think, So what if I'm a tree hugger?? It feels gooood!
If I'm out in public or working away I'll often just lean on a tree. To be subtle. My belly misses out but my back gets the love.

Lately I realised that the harder I squeeze the tree, the bigger hug I get myself. It's just hit me that hugging a tree is sort of me giving myself a hug, but from something massive and rooted into the earth. What a gift!

Sometimes when I'm out and about, if things feel a bit intense or I'm having a difficult discussion, I'll just lean on a tree for a moment or too. It supercharges me.

I guess it's that thing I keep realising again and again that I was saying to my friend last night after we had a bit of conflict - it could have been avoided if I'd stopped when things started feeling 'off' and just PAUSED.

The morning tree hug is my pause. 5 minutes every day. My work is to remember to pause in the rest of the day...

Tree hugs aren't for everyone, I remember encouraging a friend to give it a go on a walk years ago and she was visibly disgusted.

So then what do you do instead to pause and recharge? Is it art or meditating or exercise? I'd love to hear different ideas.

Sending love to you all wherever and however you are. I hope you find some pause today.
​
Ruth Nadia x
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being alive!!!

5/20/2022

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Five years ago I had a small bleed on my brain.
I was told I wouldn't make it back to my job that year and that I'd never quite be back to how I was before - there'd always be some small damage to my brain.
I was pretty tired for the next year or so. And pretty gutted.
But with a mixture of time and alternating between going slowly and totally overdoing it, I'm back on form.
Anniversaries can be weird, they don't always make me feel the way I expect. They regularly surprise me by bringing up FEELINGS. I don't know why I'm so surprised since it happens at most anniversaries.
This year I wanted to CELEBRATE - to do something different. I wanted to push my body because I CAN now. I CAN be physical. And I love being physical.
So I took myself out for a date. I had an
adventure day with hill climbing, beck swimming and joyful dancing.
The me from 5 years ago wouldn't have believed that days like today were coming.
Yay being alive! Yay having a body and energy to move it!
I love my amazing body and I'm so glad I didn't die.
I hoped to share this day with other people but it didn't work out that way and I've actually had the BEST time on my own.
So that was another surprise.
However you are today and wherever you are, I send massive love to you. Come and see me for a massage, I love bodies, they're great. Let's give them all the love while we've got them,
Ruth Nadia x
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mothers' day

3/27/2022

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Mother's Day can be tricky.
So many of us women have wanted to become a mother, we've tried and tried and it hasn't happened.
We've lost babies we've wanted so badly.
And had abortions that were the right choice at the time.
Some of us have dealt with the loss of a child after they've lived.
Or become separated from our child.
We don't 'get over' these things, we just learn to live with them. And we get on with it.
Because humans beings are awesome. We're survivors by nature. And we get on with it.
Just like the mothers who are currently mothering.
The single mothers holding it all together.
The co-parenting mothers.
The foster mothers and adoptive mothers.
The mothers in partnerships, both supportive and less so.
Bringing up a child is no piece of cake.
Understatement of the year.
We just survive. And get on with it.
Because we're AWESOME.
This photo is my best friend and me 17 years ago, moments after she birthed her first child. I LOVE this photo for summing up what a big deal it is to suddenly be responsible for another human.
We all need help along the way. No matter how awesome we are.
I will help where I can.
And send huge love to you.
And huge love to everyone else helping along the way.
We're in this together, this life.
Happy Mother's Day!
Ruth Nadia x
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Spring equinox

3/20/2022

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I woke at 5.45 this morning.
It wasn't exactly planned, but I'd been open to the possibility of seeing the sunrise today.
It's the spring equinox. Half day half night. A turning point in the year.
The start of spring.
The sun hadn't risen when I woke but the sky was light.
The moon was big and bright and on its way to set in the west.
I got up and dressed and went for a sunrise swim.
Equinoxes only come twice a year. They're special.
I hadn't expected this morning to be as beautiful and clear as it was.
There was frost on a bench and I could see my breath in the air.
A swan hissed and circled me as I got in, then lost interest.
As I swam through the cold water, I thought, What if this is the start of a new year, instead of January 1st?
And what does a new year mean?
Fresh start.
New leaf. Clean slate. Another chance.
Another chance.
Couldn't we all do with another chance?
I make mistakes every day.
I try SO hard to be perfect. But every day I make mistakes.
This morning I forgave myself for my mistakes. And I let myself start again. Fresh.
These moments in the year are such good opportunities.
I wonder what would happen if I let myself start fresh every single day. Even if it wasn't an equinox.
What if I forgave myself anyway?
When I closed my eyes and imagined it, I felt warm and smiled.
So maybe there's something in it...
Happy equinox to you all.
Wishing you spring time fresh start love, no matter how many mistakes you've made,
Ruth Nadia x
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Cold water and stress and getting WASTED.

3/1/2022

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I don't know about you, but sometimes it's pretty unpleasant in my head.

Like, I can get myself seriously stressed and be really unkind to myself - telling myself I'll never amount to anything and I'm a bad person and all sorts of NONSENSE. Honestly, if anyone else spoke to me the way I sometimes speak to myself, I'd kick them to the kerb.

One time last December I got myself in a right pickle. I can't remember why, but it all seemed very important. I remember thinking, "I am suffering SO much!"

I arrived at the lake. I got changed and I got in.

It was COLD.

As I waded in, there was no space in my head to stress any more. All I could focus on was breathing and moving and feeling this cold enveloping my body.

I remember thinking "Nah, Ruth, THIS is suffering! All that stuff before was just thoughts."

lol. If only it was always that simple.

But what if it is?

What if there is always magic waiting when we drop into the body?

This is why I used to drink and take recreational drugs. It gave me a BREAK from my thoughts. It got me out of my head. Off my head.

This is why I run, why I dance, why we scroll mindlessly on social media. Sometimes we just want a little break. From our thoughts.

Back in the old old days we were physical. Nowadays, we sit. It all happens in the head. Which is why I love cold water swimming. It's a reset. Swoosh. Straight out of the head. Straight in to the body. OW! Yes. Here I am.

Plus no hangover.

Often I'll go for a walk if I have a decision to make or if I want some feelings to move. Moving the body helps us move on. Move through.

I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS: We have awesome tools right up our sleeves. Bodies. Moving them can help.

Oh. And breath. Always breath.
​
Sending love to you all,
Ruth x
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Let's talk about lurve

2/14/2022

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Years ago I was hitchhiking back from the north of Scotland where I'd gone for a solar eclipse.

Hitchhiking can be tough! Sometimes you wonder if you'll be stuck there forever. And then a car stops. And it's wonderful.

One time I'd finished hitching for the day. I was about to climb a hill before camping. It felt good not to want anything anymore from the drivers on the road.

A van drove past. I looked at the driver and we smiled at each other. That was it! Just 2 humans meeting for a few seconds, then moving on.

This was in 2003, but I still feel happy remembering it. I LOVE moments like this.

What do you love?

I love wild swimming.
I love cherry blossom.
I love conversations and connections and getting hot and sweaty.
I love hot baths and cold lakes and gentle touch.
I love sad songs and cheesy happy dance music and talking about Macbeth.
I love my family and my friends and my bed and rice.
I love that moment of seeing the sea for the first time and a surprise letter from a friend.
I love the giggles of delight of my nephews, or of anyone, really.
I love trees and crispy sand on the beach that I can crinkle up until it flows through my fingers.
I love frozen mud and thai green curry and Nina Simone and people getting passionate about what they love.
I love sweet peas and jamming with friends and that moment in the audience when the cast do their bows.
I love a bloody good massage and a bloody good conversation and a bloody good hug.
I love being there when someone learns to ride a bike, or takes their first steps, or moves through some difficult stuff and comes out the other side.
Love is all around us.

It's made me smile SO much writing this list. But did I miss anything???


It would be such a treat to read about what YOU love in the comments.
Thank you all for following and liking and commenting on what I share. It means a lot.
​
Ruth Nadia x

Ps. The photo is of me loving my dad saying BOO!
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A different perspective

2/5/2022

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​Sometimes all we need is a good night's sleep.

Or a different perspective.

It can be annoying how simple that sounds.

I was talking to a good friend last night who was going through a situation. She was imagining the worst case scenario in her head and feeling terrible.

Today her outlook was totally different. Yes, the worst case was possible, but so were many other outcomes.

She was a different person. Just from time. And sleep. And a bit of space to talk it through.

I love that we have the power to look at exactly the same situation from many different angles.

And I love being there with people on that journey. (I was so PROUD of her reading her texts this morning!)

Things can feel so final in the moment.

But things change.

Whether it's through talking, writing, dance, music, art, exercise, massage or sleep, there's a different way of seeing things, waiting for you on the other side.

I feel like this photo sort of sums it up - it's the same old me, but through a hole in a wall I just look more FUN.
And it was only possible because I had a friend to take it.

Sending love to you all, wherever you are. I hope you find the space for different perspectives this weekend.

If you'd like to bring something to me to work through in a massage space, I'd love to see you.
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Breakups and heartache and cold water swimming.

2/2/2022

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​I learnt a lot about myself and my resilience from cold water swimming. I went from being a massive faffer to someone who just wades in and gets on with it.

And it all started with a quick meditation by Kristin Neff.

Soooo, this is what I learnt from Kristin, the 3 ingredients of self-compassion:

1) "This is a moment of suffering."
- as I get into the cold water, I acknowledge, yup, this is not pleasant.

2) "Suffering is a part of life"
- I remind myself that the only way to get a swim is to go through the 'getting in bit'.

3) "May I be kind to myself in this moment"- this adds softness and stops me from shaming myself if I DO make a fuss.

Just those 3 sentences totally changed how I enter cold water.

So what happens when I use the sentences on a recent break up I've gone through?

1) I acknowledge that yes, my heart is breaking. It hurts.

2) I remind myself that I only have this pain because I loved so deeply, and I don't want to give up loving. If I want deep relationships, sometimes it will hurt.

3) THIS is my life's work: being kinder to myself.

I have an old unhelpful habit of being really critical of myself - I predict my own failure before it happens, to 'protect' myself. I say the nasty things to myself first, before anyone else can.

Initially, after this breakup, I went straight to listing my failures and all the reasons I will never find love. Even calling myself a failure.

Adding kindness to that has meant reminding myself that I'm human. None of us are perfect. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work.

And also, maybe instead of analysing it right now, I can go and see some friends or go for a swim and FIND my joy again. See how joyous I am in the photo!

Learning to be kind to yourself is something I suspect that happens little decision by little decision. Let's start now.

And as I was in the cold cold water, I wondered if maybe I'm a bit of a pro at painful stuff. So this thing that I was dreading happening, this thing that really hurts, maybe I can just go through it like I do the cold water. From all that practice.

Is this too deep for a Wednesday afternoon? I'd love to know if it speaks to you.

I'm not sharing my story for sympathy, but because I hope you find it useful or at least interesting.
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