Ruth Nadia Massage - Ruth Nadia Massage

Never ending rain

6/25/2019

The rain pours down
And I am drenched.
I think to myself
It has only ever rained
And it will only ever rain .
But that is not true.
The rain will stop
Nothing lasts for ever,
The sun was there behind the clouds all along.
So let it rain.

Bit deep from me on a Tuesday afternoon but hey, it is so true. From the tough times we grow the most.

Sending love to you, whatever rains you are going through.

Ruth Nadia x

Summer Solstice

6/21/2019

Summer Solstice is here! The longest day of the year (in the northern hemisphere) and the start of summer. And oh my gosh we are ready for some summer!

The sun rose at 4:34am this morning and will set at 9:40pm (in Leeds at any rate) which gives us over 17 hours of sunlight! It's a time of fire, passion, celebration and for some, possibly burnout. I don't know about you, but I find the long days a bit overwhelming - there is so much TIME to fit so much STUFF in and with the sun rising that early, how the heck do you ever sleep???

But maybe that's just me.

What I DO love is the sun setting late in the evening, lighting up my room with a magical glow. I love the flowers buds popping open at last, the leaves covering all the trees, the cherries, the first raspberries and the feeling of a party in the air.

Looking forward to seeing you, and HAPPY SOLSTICE!

Ruth Nadia x

ps. The photo was taken on the glorious sugarwell hill - it feels like a totally different place now that everything is growing, I had the unusual feeling of being lost somewhere that I know. Love it.

Have you noticed...?

6/9/2019

On park run yesterday this quote from Ronnie Corbett came up from the depths of my memory:

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."

Which just CAN'T be true. And also, it is possible to go at exactly your own pace, and still be both an idiot AND a maniac at the same time...

Take this photo of me on the beach at Runswick Bay - I was following someone's recommendation to lie down and look at the trees. But there were no trees, so I tried it on the beach, where I took this smug photo. I drifted off and woke up to an empty beach with no access back where I had come from, because the tide had come in.

After 15 minutes frantically scrambling over the rocky overgrown hillside, thinking I might be stranded there for the next 12 hours, I somehow found my way back to civilisation.
So there you are, even the best of us can be both an idiot and a maniac in the same hour.

And whatever pace you went this weekend, whatever you did, WE'RE ALL WINNERS, because we're all still here. We're alive. Sometimes just choosing to open your eyes in the morning is an achievement.

Be kind to yourselves, be kind to others.

Ruth Nadia x

Mental Health Awareness Week

5/16/2019

It's Mental Health Awareness week this week, and it feels like about time. My old sadness has recently popped in for a flying visit again so I thought I'd share with you what I have found helps:

- the more I judge myself and tell myself off for being sad, the worse I feel. Allowing myself some time to cry (if I need to) helps the sadness to pass much faster than telling myself I shouldn't be sad.
- screens don't particularly help.
- the right friends DO help.
- GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE, bed time stories with my nephew, going for a run, dancing to cheesy 90s pop, doing work that I enjoy and am good at, helping someone - all that fills me up nicely and helps much more than lots of analysing and asking why. (Better to do the analysing from a happier place IF it's needed at all.)
- the past is over. The past is full of dead things, whether that is people who are no longer with us, old jobs, old ways of life, our old body or hair, relationships, even the relationships we are in now that USED to be different. Those things are in the past but WE are here in the now. Going back for a while can be useful, but spending too long in the past ALWAYS makes me sad. Better to ask: 'What is here now?' (this helps with better acting too...)
- things change, they always change. Stay open to happiness, it might surprise you and pop up when you least expect it.
- any more tips you would like to add??? There's always room for improvement with me.

Sadness aside, I had two lovely massages today with two really open and generous clients and I'm looking forward to 3 more tomorrow.

Take care of yourselves everyone.
With extra love,
Ruth Nadia

ps. The photo was from a gorgeous walk I did with a gorgeous friend. Good friends make everything better.

How to get healthier and happier

5/12/2019

Spending quality time with friends, family, and our romantic partners - this often gets pushed down to the bottom of our list because of 'more important things', but actually relationships are more important than we knew.

In fact, in 2015, a study showed loneliness and social isolation is as damaging to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. (Holt-Lunstad, 2015)

That is MASSIVE.

Spending time with the people you love isn't a luxury - it's a necessity.

Who haven't you seen for a while? Make it happen - life isn't meant to be all work work work. (I say this as a reminder to myself too. I've definitely prioritised work lately, and I've felt something has been missing.)

The video is from a fascinating TED talk about a study on human happiness which has now been running for over 80 years! That is a long study. Let me know what you think about it.

With love,
Ruth Nadia x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI

Road Rage?

4/25/2019

This tip has helped me sooooo many times on the road -
As soon as possible after the event, do something KIND for someone else on the road (let someone else go first, do an extra big thank you if someone lets you out, anything)
Sounds simple, but this works.

I guess it reminds us that we're all in this together, that the challenging people are the exception. It moves us on from the past, and brings us to the now, which is the safest place to be when you're on the road. (And a great place to be in general)

Hope this has been helpful,

Happy April everybody, stay safe out there.

Ruth Nadia x
Ps. Some beautiful sunsets in Leeds lately - the photo is taken from the room I massage in.

Learning to Love where you are, wherever you are

4/18/2019

Years ago, I had a massage at a festival that sort of makes me laugh now. The man giving me the massage was doing his thing, getting 'in there' in areas that he thought needed work - poking and pulling me where I was really sensitive.

"Relax." he kept saying.

Now honestly, I was trying to relax; I knew massage was what I needed. But at the same time, he was hurting me, and I didn't trust him to stop hurting me. To protect myself, I tensed up, making my own barrier. It stopped him causing me more pain where I felt vulnerable.

It also stopped him doing anything to my muscles at all really - there's no way he could have done any good either. The whole massage was basically a polite fight - him telling me to relax, me tensing against him. Amongst a load of polite chat.

I'm sure that if I had opened up and relaxed, I would have had an amazing massage. But for whatever reason, I stayed tense, and I didn't let him in. Maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe I didn't trust him.

I still remember that massage today, something like 11 years on, and hearing a similar story from a new client today prompted me to write this.

In our lives, we develop ways of protecting ourselves when we sense a threat:
- we say 'I'm fine, I'm tough' when we're feeling scared, to avoid being seen as an easy target,
- we take a deep breath, tense up, and walk past the gang on the street, trying to look as 'cool' as possible,
- we stay alert to attacks.

For most of us as we get older, these threats are less and less likely, but the tension has stayed there, to 'protect' us. For others, those threats are still there - and that protection is needed.

As a massage therapist (and a friend, girlfriend, sister, whatever) my job isn't to get in there and destroy the person's defence because 'I don't think they need it any more.' My job is to take people as they are - to love them for who they are right now, with tension and defences here and there, with quirky habits and hopes and fears, the whole lot.
Who knows what goes on behind closed doors, in other people's lives - maybe they really need that defence up right now. Who am I to judge? We are ALL a work in progress.
When I massage, I don't assume that I know best, because I really really don't when it comes to somebody else's body or their history. They know best. The client is always right.

Opening up and being vulnerable takes bravery, you need to know you will be safe and protected when you do it. If someone lets down their defences with me, it is an honour and a privilege, it isn't my right.

As a massage therapist, my job is to love you AND your defences. And if you decide to let them down, then amazing.

I honestly feel very lucky after a day of massaging and I hope that in time I will extend that love for my clients to myself too, and then... LOOK OUT! - my massages will be even better! (But I guess, for now, I just need to learn to love that I am not there yet.)

Big love,
Ruth Nadia x

Dancing around to Scatman John

4/11/2019

At school there was a boy who always used to call me a hippy, and sing the ‘I want to be a hippy’ song at me. I would try to ignore him, or occasionally try to reason with him but 24 years on (yes, the song was released 24 years ago…) I think it’s time to hold my hands up and say perhaps I am a hippy...

I love trees, I love 5 rhythms dancing, I love reiki and massage and peace and love… and actually, those things bring me so much pleasure, it would be a real shame not to have them in my life just because they’re not ‘cool’.… yes, maybe I am a hippy.

When I confided in my brother that I suspected that I might actually be a hippy, he looked at me as though I was bonkers. ‘Of COURSE you are.’

Nowadays, nothing brings me pleasure quite as well as dancing around to the legend that is Scatman John - he sings about peace and love and acceptance (with a cheesy banging beat). He brings me to the now, he replenishes my energy, and he re-connects me with myself. Basically, he fills me up with all the good stuff.

For my boyfriend, a day all to himself, with a precious lie-in, does the same job.

For my mum, it is listening to a good storyteller or going to an amazing concert.

What fills you up? I’d love to hear your ideas. (Let me know your thoughts in the comments - it's always good to get new ideas.)

Ruth Nadia x

ps. This photo is from the days before I had quite made peace with being a hippy, or loving Scatman John. But you see, your true nature is there, whether you are ready acknowledge it or not. Sending peace and love to you all. Hope to see you soon.✌️

And if you want some cheese, here it is:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JolKGv_0W8

An encounter with sadness

3/27/2019

I found myself feeling sad recently. (It comes around from time to time.)

Day after day I was trying to fight it – doing things to make the sadness go away – exercise, fresh air, writing, fruit salad, a bath, trying to be positive. It didn’t go away.

Ringing a friend didn’t seem possible because they all seemed so busy, with families and commitments, and I didn’t want to call them up and bring them down with my misery, so I distanced myself from my friends.

“Come on Ruth, you can deal with this yourself. Just be kind to yourself you fool. Sort it out. Be strong!”

Well, that little chat with myself didn’t help much.

I started getting impatient, because I was TRYING so hard but the sadness was still there. “Ruth you are so NEGATIVE – what’s the matter with you? Why are you so sad?”

I mean, really, I didn’t know WHY the sadness had hit this time, but since I’d asked, I ended up giving myself a big long list of possible reasons for why I was feeling sad. Which just gave the sadness even more fuel to feed on.

So that wasn’t particularly helpful.

Next?

I had another bath.

No better.

So I texted a friend, saying I kept feeling sad, and could we chat? She didn’t reply for hours, but as soon as I clicked ‘send’, some of the pressure I’d been putting on myself went.

We talked. It helped a little. Then I told another friend. The world didn’t swallow me up, I didn’t lose any ‘strong woman points’ by admitting I was struggling by myself.

Sometimes you just need to let the thoughts out of your head where they’ve been bouncing and echoing around the walls. You just need to open the door and let them out, to give your head a bit of a break.

Talking didn’t change my situation, but being listened to changed how I saw my situation. A little. And ‘a little’ was a start.

Things change all the time – it’s one of the few things I know. Sadness will come and go. So will delight and anger, enthusiasm and tiredness. Everything.

It’s tempting to hide yourself away when things are tough, only to emerge later when everything feels sparkly again. I know that. Sometimes, being alone is exactly what you need. But not always.

My mum says, ‘people like to help’, and for me, as a massage therapist, I am often the one listening, the friend who is there with you while you’re going through emotions or self-discovery or whatever it is you’re going through. I love being there for people. I love giving them that space where they are totally accepted as they are, with whatever they’re going through. It feels good.

It’s annoying when my mum is right, but I think it is true - people do like to help.

Asking for help is a different story. It feels harder, but it has definitely brought me closer to the two friends I reached out to.

Now I’m not saying this is the magic cure – I don’t have clinical depression, I was just feeling sad, and sometimes a walk in the woods does the trick - but this time, for me, being listened to was the start of the turning of the tide, and I wanted to post this because it was a good reminder for me, that sometimes being strong means asking for help.

If you don’t have any friends who are good listeners, who know how to give you space and encouragement to express yourself, then there is always the Samaritans. I was a Samaritan for 5 years and most people who call aren’t suicidal. We always had to ask, but only because suicide is such a taboo subject, and Samaritans is one of the few places where you can talk about those feelings freely. People who aren’t feeling suicidal are also 100% welcome.

Life can feel tricky. Emotions come and go. So do the good times and the bad times. But if it’s all bouncing around your head, and you don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere, please reach out and talk. People like to help. We do.

Ruth Nadia x

ps. I'll be honest - I've never been so nervous about posting something before. Hope it is helpful to someone.