For anyone who doesn’t know, a colonoscopy is a procedure that involves a camera being inserted up your back passage and traveling along your colon to see what is going on. (I’m not poorly or anything - just general grumbling bowel issues.)
Do I have no dignity, posting about this??? Ha ha perhaps. But actually, I really value being able to talk about the difficult, awkward stuff that most people don’t talk about, so that we don’t feel so alone.
I’m not really talking about my colonoscopy here anyway (which I LOVED by the way.) I’m talking about breathing and releasing. After all, this is a massage page.
Breathing and releasing.
I managed to make it through quite an uncomfortable procedure using only breathing and releasing.
No sedation. No gas and air.
I’m not going to lie – the colonoscopy was painful / uncomfortable. I have a bendy colon apparently, and the person in charge found it hard to get round the bends. Also, they fill the colon with air to see clearly and to get the camera through, which feels like trapped wind, because that is basically what it is. I wasn’t particularly enjoying it.
Then I remembered my breath.
No wonder breath work is a big part of giving birth; the breath is INCREDIBLE. Using my breath was like having my own set of remote controls for the whole thing – amazing. I relaxed. I knew the gas and air was there if I needed it, but I was enjoying being in charge myself.
When I was asked by a nurse me what I would normally be doing on a Wednesday, I felt a bit rude, but I asked if they would mind just leaving me to do my breathing.
And it was magic.
I was left in peace to watch the journey up the inside of my colon on the screen – it was AWESOME. I breathed and I farted through the pain.
Did I say I farted? I mean ‘I released.’
Releasing can take many forms, but if you’re holding onto something that is causing you pain, and you don’t need to hold onto it any more, just let it go. Maybe it will come out as a fart, maybe as breath, maybe as tears, who knows.
During a colonoscopy, once you’ve been pumped with air, after a while, that air just needs to be released, otherwise it really hurts.
They tell you beforehand to fart. A friend of mine who does that same job, when I asked her, her top tip was to fart, so there it was in black and white. I needed to fart.
During the procedure, I did some proper corkers, and it seemed like the team were really proud of me for doing them, which hasn’t been the case since I was a baby.
What a funny situation – doing massive farts, and being congratulated by a room of medical professionals that I had never met before, as though I had just given some oscar-winning performance.
I think it felt safer, doing massive farts, when I knew that the air I was farting out was never mine in the first place – it had been pumped into me by someone else.
Which got me thinking – how much of our baggage is really ours anyway???
Probably not so much.
Just let it go.
So that is the story of how I made it through a colonoscopy using the natural pain relief that we all have - our breath, and our ability to release.
These bodies of ours are amazing, and our minds are more powerful than we think.
Whatever you're holding on to - just let it go. The chances are, it was never yours in the first place.
Sending autumnal full moon love to you all.
My last few massages before Panto are:
Tuesday 15th October
Thursday 24th October
Monday 4th November
Thursday 7th November
Get in touch to book, or if you can only make a different date I have some flexibility.
Ruth Nadia x
ps. Remember, when lots of us were wearing shorts...? This photo is from last month. I do love September.