Blog Archives

Road Rage?

4/25/2019

This tip has helped me sooooo many times on the road -
As soon as possible after the event, do something KIND for someone else on the road (let someone else go first, do an extra big thank you if someone lets you out, anything)
Sounds simple, but this works.

I guess it reminds us that we're all in this together, that the challenging people are the exception. It moves us on from the past, and brings us to the now, which is the safest place to be when you're on the road. (And a great place to be in general)

Hope this has been helpful,

Happy April everybody, stay safe out there.

Ruth Nadia x
Ps. Some beautiful sunsets in Leeds lately - the photo is taken from the room I massage in.

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Learning to Love where you are, wherever you are

4/18/2019

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Years ago, I had a massage at a festival that sort of makes me laugh now. The man giving me the massage was doing his thing, getting 'in there' in areas that he thought needed work - poking and pulling me where I was really sensitive.

"Relax." he kept saying.

Now honestly, I was trying to relax; I knew massage was what I needed. But at the same time, he was hurting me, and I didn't trust him to stop hurting me. To protect myself, I tensed up, making my own barrier. It stopped him causing me more pain where I felt vulnerable.

It also stopped him doing anything to my muscles at all really - there's no way he could have done any good either. The whole massage was basically a polite fight - him telling me to relax, me tensing against him. Amongst a load of polite chat.

I'm sure that if I had opened up and relaxed, I would have had an amazing massage. But for whatever reason, I stayed tense, and I didn't let him in. Maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe I didn't trust him.

I still remember that massage today, something like 11 years on, and hearing a similar story from a new client today prompted me to write this.

In our lives, we develop ways of protecting ourselves when we sense a threat:
- we say 'I'm fine, I'm tough' when we're feeling scared, to avoid being seen as an easy target,
- we take a deep breath, tense up, and walk past the gang on the street, trying to look as 'cool' as possible,
- we stay alert to attacks.

For most of us as we get older, these threats are less and less likely, but the tension has stayed there, to 'protect' us. For others, those threats are still there - and that protection is needed.

As a massage therapist (and a friend, girlfriend, sister, whatever) my job isn't to get in there and destroy the person's defence because 'I don't think they need it any more.' My job is to take people as they are - to love them for who they are right now, with tension and defences here and there, with quirky habits and hopes and fears, the whole lot.
Who knows what goes on behind closed doors, in other people's lives - maybe they really need that defence up right now. Who am I to judge? We are ALL a work in progress.
When I massage, I don't assume that I know best, because I really really don't when it comes to somebody else's body or their history. They know best. The client is always right.

Opening up and being vulnerable takes bravery, you need to know you will be safe and protected when you do it. If someone lets down their defences with me, it is an honour and a privilege, it isn't my right.

As a massage therapist, my job is to love you AND your defences. And if you decide to let them down, then amazing.

I honestly feel very lucky after a day of massaging and I hope that in time I will extend that love for my clients to myself too, and then... LOOK OUT! - my massages will be even better! (But I guess, for now, I just need to learn to love that I am not there yet.)

Big love,
Ruth Nadia x

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Dancing around to Scatman John

4/11/2019

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At school there was a boy who always used to call me a hippy, and sing the ‘I want to be a hippy’ song at me. I would try to ignore him, or occasionally try to reason with him but 24 years on (yes, the song was released 24 years ago…) I think it’s time to hold my hands up and say perhaps I am a hippy...

I love trees, I love 5 rhythms dancing, I love reiki and massage and peace and love… and actually, those things bring me so much pleasure, it would be a real shame not to have them in my life just because they’re not ‘cool’.… yes, maybe I am a hippy.

When I confided in my brother that I suspected that I might actually be a hippy, he looked at me as though I was bonkers. ‘Of COURSE you are.’

Nowadays, nothing brings me pleasure quite as well as dancing around to the legend that is Scatman John - he sings about peace and love and acceptance (with a cheesy banging beat). He brings me to the now, he replenishes my energy, and he re-connects me with myself. Basically, he fills me up with all the good stuff.

For my boyfriend, a day all to himself, with a precious lie-in, does the same job.

For my mum, it is listening to a good storyteller or going to an amazing concert.

What fills you up? I’d love to hear your ideas. (Let me know your thoughts in the comments - it's always good to get new ideas.)

Ruth Nadia x

ps. This photo is from the days before I had quite made peace with being a hippy, or loving Scatman John. But you see, your true nature is there, whether you are ready acknowledge it or not. Sending peace and love to you all. Hope to see you soon.✌️

And if you want some cheese, here it is:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JolKGv_0W8

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Road Rage?

Learning to Love where you are, wherever you are

Dancing around to Scatman John

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