Ruth Nadia Massage - Ruth Nadia Massage

Let's talk about lurve

2/14/2022

Years ago I was hitchhiking back from the north of Scotland where I'd gone for a solar eclipse.

Hitchhiking can be tough! Sometimes you wonder if you'll be stuck there forever. And then a car stops. And it's wonderful.

One time I'd finished hitching for the day. I was about to climb a hill before camping. It felt good not to want anything anymore from the drivers on the road.

A van drove past. I looked at the driver and we smiled at each other. That was it! Just 2 humans meeting for a few seconds, then moving on.

This was in 2003, but I still feel happy remembering it. I LOVE moments like this.

What do you love?

I love wild swimming.
I love cherry blossom.
I love conversations and connections and getting hot and sweaty.
I love hot baths and cold lakes and gentle touch.
I love sad songs and cheesy happy dance music and talking about Macbeth.
I love my family and my friends and my bed and rice.
I love that moment of seeing the sea for the first time and a surprise letter from a friend.
I love the giggles of delight of my nephews, or of anyone, really.
I love trees and crispy sand on the beach that I can crinkle up until it flows through my fingers.
I love frozen mud and thai green curry and Nina Simone and people getting passionate about what they love.
I love sweet peas and jamming with friends and that moment in the audience when the cast do their bows.
I love a bloody good massage and a bloody good conversation and a bloody good hug.
I love being there when someone learns to ride a bike, or takes their first steps, or moves through some difficult stuff and comes out the other side.
Love is all around us.

It's made me smile SO much writing this list. But did I miss anything???

It would be such a treat to read about what YOU love in the comments.
Thank you all for following and liking and commenting on what I share. It means a lot.

Ruth Nadia x

Ps. The photo is of me loving my dad saying BOO!

A different perspective

2/5/2022

Sometimes all we need is a good night's sleep.

Or a different perspective.

It can be annoying how simple that sounds.

I was talking to a good friend last night who was going through a situation. She was imagining the worst case scenario in her head and feeling terrible.

Today her outlook was totally different. Yes, the worst case was possible, but so were many other outcomes.

She was a different person. Just from time. And sleep. And a bit of space to talk it through.

I love that we have the power to look at exactly the same situation from many different angles.

And I love being there with people on that journey. (I was so PROUD of her reading her texts this morning!)

Things can feel so final in the moment.

But things change.

Whether it's through talking, writing, dance, music, art, exercise, massage or sleep, there's a different way of seeing things, waiting for you on the other side.

I feel like this photo sort of sums it up - it's the same old me, but through a hole in a wall I just look more FUN.
And it was only possible because I had a friend to take it.

Sending love to you all, wherever you are. I hope you find the space for different perspectives this weekend.

If you'd like to bring something to me to work through in a massage space, I'd love to see you.

Breakups and heartache and cold water swimming.

2/2/2022

I learnt a lot about myself and my resilience from cold water swimming. I went from being a massive faffer to someone who just wades in and gets on with it.

And it all started with a quick meditation by Kristin Neff.

Soooo, this is what I learnt from Kristin, the 3 ingredients of self-compassion:

1) "This is a moment of suffering."
- as I get into the cold water, I acknowledge, yup, this is not pleasant.

2) "Suffering is a part of life"
- I remind myself that the only way to get a swim is to go through the 'getting in bit'.

3) "May I be kind to myself in this moment"- this adds softness and stops me from shaming myself if I DO make a fuss.

Just those 3 sentences totally changed how I enter cold water.

So what happens when I use the sentences on a recent break up I've gone through?

1) I acknowledge that yes, my heart is breaking. It hurts.

2) I remind myself that I only have this pain because I loved so deeply, and I don't want to give up loving. If I want deep relationships, sometimes it will hurt.

3) THIS is my life's work: being kinder to myself.

I have an old unhelpful habit of being really critical of myself - I predict my own failure before it happens, to 'protect' myself. I say the nasty things to myself first, before anyone else can.

Initially, after this breakup, I went straight to listing my failures and all the reasons I will never find love. Even calling myself a failure.

Adding kindness to that has meant reminding myself that I'm human. None of us are perfect. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work.

And also, maybe instead of analysing it right now, I can go and see some friends or go for a swim and FIND my joy again. See how joyous I am in the photo!

Learning to be kind to yourself is something I suspect that happens little decision by little decision. Let's start now.

And as I was in the cold cold water, I wondered if maybe I'm a bit of a pro at painful stuff. So this thing that I was dreading happening, this thing that really hurts, maybe I can just go through it like I do the cold water. From all that practice.

Is this too deep for a Wednesday afternoon? I'd love to know if it speaks to you.

I'm not sharing my story for sympathy, but because I hope you find it useful or at least interesting.

After covid

1/16/2022

I'm OUT on the other side of covid. It feels like a new day. Hooray!

The isolation was challenging for my mental health. I got a bit stuck in my thinking and there was a lot of anxiety, which had probably been building for a while.

In normal days, I would be able to ease the pressure with swimming or exercise or people, but not in covid isolation.

Now that I'm out the other side, I can do the little things like breathing in fresh air, hugging the people I love, and getting a change of scene. These little things feel soooo sweet. We underestimate their importance.

Sometimes, all that we need, to turn around the way our WHOLE life looks, is just a hug, a smile, or a bit of sky you've never seen before that can get you back in balance.

And touch.

Touch is magic. For sure. It is a basic human need.

I am so grateful to be back, and I send my love to all of you feeling isolated, in any way. It's rubbish.

But remember, tomorrow is a new day. I know it can be annoying to be told that in the midst of the darkness, but it is true. A new day is coming.

If you'd like an hour out and some quality delicious Ruth Nadia Massage touch to kickstart a new day for you, I have massage availability this week:

Mon 17, 11am
Wed 19, 9:30am, 3pm

It would be my honour and joy to work with you,

Ruth Nadia x

Love and death and chillies

11/11/2021

Today's the anniversary of the death of one of my best friends.

It was the morning of 11.11.10. I'd cycled to Wales and was in a hostel in a dorm room. My phone rang and my friend told me the news. I kept saying, “Are you %*% serious?” again and again.

I got the train straight to my friend Elsa's house and we snuggled up on the sofa and talked about him and cried and read other people's words about him and became closer than we'd been before.

In fact, I made quite a lot of new friends – Ben's parents, his friends and ex girlfriends, all united in our love of the awesome Ben Sharkey.

His funeral was epic. Bursting with creativity and love. As is standard at funerals, the only person missing was Ben himself. Otherwise it was a banging party. You'd have loved it.

For quite a long time after, I found the question “How are you?” too intrusive, because I was really really heartbroken. I just didn't have words to say it.

Then time passed.

I still think about Ben most days. I miss and love him and grief bloody hurts. But the world is also full of people who are alive right now. And I don't want to wait until they are dead til I realise how much I love them.

So this is a reminder to savour the ones you love. This life can be so so random. But one thing is sure – we will one day die.

It can be useful to remember that from time to time, so we can ask ourselves again, “What really matters to me?” WHO really matters to me?

I send love to the awesome Ben Sharkey and all those who love him. And I send out love to all the other awesome people out there in the world.

SPOILER ALERT: you are one of those awesome people. We are all awesome in our own unique way.

Ben once said I was as mad as a bag of hats. I think it was a compliment??? I think it was his way of saying he loved me.

So, give some love to someone in your own unique way.

And give some love to yourself too while you're at it.

Ben for sure taught me about that - embracing life. That's him in the photo, loving hating chilli. It's his art work too.

One day all this will fade away.

Big love,

Ruth x

In a bit of a weird place

11/5/2021

I've been in a bit of a weird place lately. Or have most of us...?

So many conversations lately with friends who are feeling the drag of this pandemic.

It can be so easy to have a go at myself when I'm not on form. But last night I was talking to yet another friend who's also in a 'bit of a weird place' and I found myself telling her to go easy on herself.

It's SO easy to tell other people what to do! It's so obvious.

It doesn't feel so easy with myself.

But it is true!

Yes maybe I have made mistakes and have regrets about some of my behaviour, but when I'm in a dark place it's best to put the analysing on pause. Come back to it later if I need to.

Do something nice for myself.

These times are weird. So many of our normal releases aren't there - the big social things. Things are 'opening up' but it's not the same. We all know it.

So now more than ever we need to look out for ourselves. And each other.

I think a lot of us are in 'a bit of a weird place'.

And no matter how much you think you deserve to punish yourself, what if you have a go at being kind?

Even just an experiment.

Because if I'd taken a selfie this morning there's no way you would have seen this smile.

This smile came from me giving myself a treat - a swim and a dance and a break from my head.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO RELEARN THIS LESSON???

Ha ha sooooo many times.

Joy first, analyse later.

Sure, there might be some things I could do differently, better, but when I'm being horrible to myself it's hard to think straight.

So what if you try it? What do you love? Where do you get your kicks? Id love to know.

If it's massage, get in touch.

Sending love to all of you in 'a bit of a weird place'.

Ruth Nadia x

November 03rd, 2021

11/3/2021

I handed in my notice at my job at the hospital. It felt maybe like a ridiculous thing to do but it also felt right. Now I can do more massage and acting and writing. And I can occasionally see my boyfriend.

It's a good thing.

It's definitely a good thing.

Why don't good things don't always feel good?

I've been quite non-stop for a while, craving a rest and to have nothing hanging over me then here it is and I'm suddenly all, “What is the point in my life?????!!”

Drama queen??? Moi???

But really. Maybe sometimes it is actually worth asking the question, What is the point? Or at least, Who am I? And what do I love?

But not necessarily when stressed. So I went for a walk.

Does anything beat a walk? I love walks. They calm me down and focus me. For others it's watching a film, or going shopping.

I walked up and down the same hill. And I let myself feel that space that I have created by quitting my job.

It felt big and scary. Tight in my chest.

But what if that is ok?

That is something I am working on these days – just letting myself feel stuff, instead of avoiding and avoiding it.

So I felt the discomfort for a while. And as I walked through the woods I asked myself, Who am I? What do I love?

I love trees. I love swimming. I love doing a good job. I love people and words and exercise and touch and connection and actually, quite a few things.

I felt a glimmer of hope.

I don't think I would have come to that place if I had stayed wallowing around at home.

When I feel stuck and confused it feels really hard to know what to do. But just turning the phone off and moving the body, doing SOMETHING is better than not. Then it leads to something else.

We have so many answers and so much wisdom inside ourselves. But we need to stop and give ourselves the chance to hear it.

When was the last time you let yourself sink into a bit of space to ask yourself, Who am I? The answers might be pleasantly surprising.

Ruth Nadia x

Permission

10/12/2021

Permission to chill

Permission to have an early night.

Permission to turn your phone off.

Permission to state your boundaries kindly but clearly.

Permission to leave early.

Permission to do a mediocre job.

To use a really old photo instead of a fresh profesh one.

Permission to ask for help.

To close your eyes.

To say no.

To do less.

I'm not just talking to you, this is something I need to learn again and again. I can't give back to others when I'm empty. At least not with an open generous heart.

So, I'm calling it a night after an awesome day of massaging and volunteering and I give you permission to do the same. Regardless of what you've done today.

Because the question isn't, "Do you deserve it?" It's, "What do you and your body need right now?"
And I am soooo excited about going to bed!

Tomorrow is a new day.

If you'd like to give yourself permission for an hour out and a gorgeous massage with me, I would love to see you.

Sending love, Ruth x

September 30th, 2021

9/30/2021

Yesterday was a hard day.

All because of a text message.

It was late, I was tired. My brain kept telling me, "All you need is that text, then you'll be happy"
But it didn't come. And I went into a miserable spiral of despair, telling myself I was a failure and I'll always be rejected in the end.

I love how dramatic brains can be. Bit sad now = desperately sad and lonely always.

Because however we are right now, we can't really imagine it changing. Like when the weather's sunny in the morning so I don't take a raincoat, because rain just doesn't seem possible.

But actually, change is one of the few things we CAN rely on. Eventually.

Today I felt like a different person so I thought I'd share a few things that helped me get from 'Life is hopeless' to "It's ok. Life is a journey."

- I went for a run. Without my phone.

- I could see I was giving myself a hard time, which I do a lot. But instead of adding to it and giving myself more of a hard time for giving myself a hard time, I stepped back and watched.

- Eventually I allowed myself to FEEL the intense fear and shame without adding a story or meaning to it. I cried. Things moved.

- I realised that it wasn't about the text message at all. It was about me. And my dad. And the feelings of rejection, grief and loss that I've had since I was little.

- Although it felt painful and difficult, I reminded myself that I'm someone who can do difficult things. Sometimes the only way is through.

- I let my coach and my boyfriend see me in my raw state. I talked it over with them and they didn't run away or reject me. THAT felt amazing. I think I possibly live for connection.

Today I'm a different person - I gave 4 massages with energy left over. I couldn't have imagined that yesterday.

It wasn't the text message that I needed. It was connection, starting with myself.

If you'd like to connect with yourself and to work through your stuff on a massage couch with someone who'll accept you as you are, then get in touch.

Ruth Nadia x

The photo is me after the run.

Body says bla bla bla

9/6/2021

I know they say to listen to your body but actually I often feel something like anxiety in my body – a heavy weight in my tummy, a sense of forboding and panic. If I listened to what my body was saying, it would sound a bit like. “Do NOT leave the house! It's not safe out there! There are unknown things. You might get tired. You'll probably want to come home. You might as well not go at all. Hey, I wonder what's on facebook... ”

So yeah, that's me...

It might not look like that, because I DO get out and do lots of things, but honestly, when I do my morning writing it's often just me having a tantrum saying 'I don't WANT to go to work, I don't WANT to see people, I don't WANT to do... anything, really.'

If it was up to my body, I'd be at home watching Crazy Ex Girlfriend, eating takeaway, never opening my door. Staying safe, conserving energy. Which is sometimes exactly what I need. But not ALL the time. I also need to get out into the world and make things happen. Sometimes I need to be the boss of my body.

Which is what happened this weekend – a group of us turned 40 this year and a massive party was organised and I REALLY didn't want to go but I knew that if I went there'd be lots of people I love and there'd be dancing. So I went. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and out of the house, because safe is lovely and gorgeous and nurturing but to thrive we need more than just safety. We need challenges. Not that the party was particularly challenging. The party was actually brilliant.

So yes, listen to your body. Let it have its rant, but then, it might be time for your body to listen to you.

And also, take a tent. Because quiet alone time is great too.

If only it was as simple in life as just following one instruction and keeping on going, but it isn't. It's constant readjusting and reassessing. Sometimes speeding up, sometimes slowing down. Sometimes listening, sometimes talking.

If you'd like to discuss both what your body is trying to tell you AND what you'd like to tell it, I'd love to see you for a massage.

With love, Ruth Nadia x