Ruth Nadia Massage - Ruth Nadia Massage

I Wish You (by Meredith Heller)

4/13/2020

I read these words this morning and they brought a smile to my face and comfort to my heart, so I thought I would share them with you.

I WISH YOU (BY MEREDITH HELLER)

"I wish you mouthfuls of laughter and warm cozy hands and bowls of nourishing soup and starry-starry light glittering at the periphery of your eyes as if someone or something is tapping you gently on the shoulder, whispering a song from your childhood that makes you smile and weep at the same time, in a good way, like when you know who you are.

I wish you the scent of lime blossoms and the taste of salt on your lips and a silver feather tattooed across your belly, gentle and elusive as a water mark, and the inviting rhythm of rain on your roof that wakes you up at night and draws you from your bed to dance a little in the darkness with a prayer in your body.

I wish you a loving letter from an old friend when you least expect it, with words that warm you like small sticks of kindling that catch and smoke and smell of ancient sandalwood forests and the tiny blue birds that sing at night, unaware of the hour of their rapture, and a low-slung moon, lying on her back, points up, like a bowl of light.

I wish you pan-fried plantains drizzled with honey and the lonely sound of a fog horn at dusk after it’s rained all day, and the sweet, rich, gentleness you feel in every cell of your body when you’re kind to another human being.

I wish you the stillness of the great blue heron and the way my heart grows wings when I see the sunlight spangle the water, and the feel of your back, leaning against these rocks here, that have soaked up the sun all day, filling their veins with light and humming their minerals into your bones, and this wide blue sky that touches the curves of the mountain tenderly with his hand and the way she arches up to meet him.

I wish you the cool clean whiteness of shells, the sacredness of bones, the memory of flight that leaves its signature in the feather. I wish you the wide wingspan of a low swooping owl as it turns 90 degrees on its side, to fly between trees in the forest, as you walk home alone one night, listening for your song."

How are you?

3/24/2020

.In January, I wrote about my morning routine. It went out of the window last week, but I reinstated it a few days ago and oh my gosh do I need this routine now!!!!?? (‘Yes’ is the answer, by the way. Definitely yes)

Last week, all of a sudden, I wasn’t a massage therapist or an actor or a cycle instructor any more. I was jobless and mega stressed and I turned job searching into my new 24 hour job. I panicked and stayed up late and rushed around the city forcing my CV onto unsuspecting people in jobs, then went home and re-worked it and re-worked it and applied for every job going online and I couldn’t even really talk or listen to the people I loved because I had a serious one track job mind. And I definitely couldn’t listen to myself. NO TIME.

In a place of panic, and lack of sleep, I thought that I could afford to let the morning routine go. But I was wrong. The morning routine was the one thing I needed more than anything.

I’ve calmed down lots now, and have some exciting possibilities for the future in terms of work, but I wanted to tell you about the most surprising and useful part of my morning routine that has really been coming into its own lately.

Ah now hang on, that isn’t fair - that’s favouritism. Listen, I love ALL of the different parts of my morning routine - they’re all valuable in their own way. It’s not fair to single out one part as the best, but when I wrote about my morning routine in January, I hadn’t worked out what to do in the writing part of it. And that’s why it feels extra special now. (But also, it IS great. (But also so are all the other parts). (But...)) - Enough bickering.

GET ON WITH IT! (As they say in Monty Python)

Here it is:

I write, for one page of A4 (or more, if I feel like it, which usually I don’t) and the prompt is:

"Speak your truth".

That is it.

And then:

"Hear that truth."

Simple.

In that week when I wasn’t doing my morning routine, things were changing so fast that all I could do was fight fires. It was crisis management. Underneath the busyness, how was I? Not great. ‘But there’s not time to go there right now.’ was what I thought. No time.

It is always worth taking time to check in with yourself.

When one of my best friends died years ago, I remember that suddenly I found the question, “How are you?” really intrusive. It was like, ‘Get out of me head! I haven’t invited you in here!’

Being asked to speak your truth can be quite a big deal. Like, this morning, at first I thought I was fine. And then by the end of the page I was crying my eyes out thinking up a way that I might possibly be able to hold somebody else’s hand, involving lots of hand sanitizer and facing away from each other and not breathing and being outside.

And then other times, I realise that speaking my truth isn’t so deep at all. It's simply that I am tired. Or perhaps I am hungry. (Usually I am hungry.).

After my writing this morning, I realised that words weren’t enough, and I danced for an hour to a 5 rhythms playlist created by the awesome Silvija Tomcik (Link at the end of this post)

So now I’m back. Sort of. Well, at least I’m finding enough words to write again.

And if writing isn’t for you, just try SOME way of expressing yourself and your truth - music, dance, art, sport. Whatever it is for you. Because only when you know where you are, can you move forward.

Ach come on - that was good and deep, that one!! I surprise myself sometimes.

“You can only move forward when you know where you are right now.” said Ruth Nadia. (And probably someone else before me.)

So how are you? Have you allowed yourself a little space to feel it? I’d love to hear from you.

And if you’d like a dedicated space to talk through how you are, I am offering 45 minute phonecalls for £10 (or more if you can afford more) The phonecalls are quite similar to the chat we have before you have a massage with me - it’s a space for you to speak your truth, and to be heard.

I had my first phonecall with a client today, and I loved being able to offer that precious space, so let me know if you’d like to book in.

Wishing you all of the love in the world,
Ruth Nadia x

A link to the original post about my morning routine: http://www.ruthnadiamassage.com/musings/morning-routines

Here is the link to Silvija Tomcik's gorgeous playlist for dancing to. Whether you know about 5 rhythms or not, turn it on and dance:
https://www.mixcloud.com/SilvijaTomcik/power-of-loving-5rhythms-wave/?fbclid=IwAR3lAy6JtvEt1betKAium9EM5NMoTYb7g47ZmGfu98F8VwO3OwTrl_kSUw4

My kitchen, where I danced my little heart out.

An excerpt from my morning writing, which I don't usually share, but hey as they keep saying, 'these are extraordinary times.

Internet Addiction

2/23/2020

I was getting smug recently, about my wholesome morning routine and how ‘on it’ I was. Then the other day it all went wrong.

I left my wifi on overnight, so when I went to my phone in the morning, to start playing the little mix that I’ve put together to do my 5 minute high intensity interval training workout (it includes power ballads, in case you’re wondering…), I saw that I had an email.

I clicked on the email and bam - I was sucked into my to do list. I thought, I might as well check facebook while I’m here, and then there I was, in the world of clicking and scrolling - the world of amazing information and resources, mixed in with nonsense and before I knew it, it was time to leave the house.

I hadn’t been outside and stood with a tree, I hadn’t done my exercises, I hadn’t sat and written.

The day was carrying me along and I had to go.

My name is Ruth Nadia, and I am addicted to the internet.

I’d rather I wasn’t. But there you are. I’m so wholesome in many ways, but not in this way.

It’s a craving for love, I think, mixed in with avoidance of what is really happening in my head, and procrastination, and a craving for always something new and better. It’s a love of knowledge and connection, mixed in with job searching and self-development and fun and it is a lot of things.

But what it isn’t is exercise or fresh air or playing with my nephews, or tidying my flat or writing that book or learning lines for that play or breathing in the moment. There are a LOT of things that the internet isn’t.

The other day (OK, maybe it was a year or more ago, you know what time is like) a friend of mine was saying how she wished she was stronger, like her flatmate, so that she could resist the chocolate biscuits in the house. And I was like, but your flatmate is unusual. Don’t compare yourself to your superhuman flatmate.

MAYBE, chocolate biscuits aren’t as tempting to her as they are to you. In fact, I’m pretty sure they aren’t.

As Oscar Wilde said, ‘I can resist anything but temptation.’

So chocolate biscuits are temptation. If they’re in your flat, you’re in resistance mode, every time you go past them, or think about them, and you have to be super super strong. But if you don’t buy them in the first place then you have to be strong once, in the shops, then once you’re home, you can relax.

Be strong once.

And the internet is like that for me. Of course, I’d love to be like those people who can take it or leave it and only use it when it’s essential, but for now I’m not.

So the trick for me, is to turn the router off at night. I turn it off at the wall and then that decision is made. In the morning, when I turn on my phone to play ‘The Final Countdown’, there are no notifications there, it’s just a music player.

Tricks. I play tricks on myself. It works though.

And yes, I realise the irony of this popping in your feed while you are on the internet, but hey, that is the thing - there are so many amazing gems mixed in with all the nonsense.

What tricks do you have to keep yourself off the internet too long, or to stop you from picking up that vape? I’d love to hear from you.

If you’d like a massage with me, I have availability tomorrow (Monday 24th Feb), or Monday 23rd March.

Wishing you all the best everyone - who said that life was easy???

Ruth Nadia

Morning Routines

1/26/2020

I’ve heard people bang on about morning routines for YEARS but every day is different for me so I didn't think they were for me. Then recently, I realised that the randomness of my day to day life is the EXACT reason that I need a morning routine.

I’m not talking about an Oprah Winfrey’s sort of morning routine (meditation, an hour of exercise, an inspirational email of Sufi teachings, doggy love and 5 cards pulled from a $100 card set) although the more I’ve read about it, the more appealing it sounds… No, I’m just talking about a simple 2 – 15 minutes at the start of every day.

Working away from home and doing a variety of work has meant that I sometimes lose my connection with myself. I forget who I am and what I believe in and I get carried away with whatever's going on around me.

This means that I can feel like a hypocrite masquerading as a massage therapist. Therapist??? Ruth Nadia you're a joke - you don’t even know who you are – how on earth can you help other people to feel grounded and connected to themselves???

But somehow I do. Perhaps it’s because I can listen.

There are so many things wanting a piece of us in life. I imagine it as little cords reaching out of our bodies – work, children, partner, friends, our phones, the internet, adverts, the state of the kitchen. Just notice how a little part of you comes back to yourself when you turn off your phone. It feels sweeeeeet.

In a massage, you turn off your phone and you come back to yourself, to your body. It is precious. I love that I can give people that space.

But when else can you get it? We can’t all have massages every couple of days. Although wow. That would be a goooood life!

So I’ve been looking at where else I can get this connection with myself and that’s where I’ve started my morning routine. ‘My regime,’ as I call it. It’s still a work in progress, but this is how it goes at the moment:

- Once I’ve woken up, I do a physio exercise in bed.
- Once I’ve brushed my teeth and got dressed I put the kettle on and bounce on my big gym ball while it boils (sorry downstairs neighbours…). If I’m away from home I’ll do a glute stretch instead.
- Once I’ve poured the tea, I go down 3 flights of stairs, into the garden, and I hug a tree for 5 minutes.

*STOP PRESS - I love hugging trees. I am still embarrassed to admit it but I'm giving honesty a go...
Look, I know hugging trees isn’t for everyone. But it is for me. And it’s also great for my motivation to get outside early and get a feeling of being in a new day, full of possibility.

- Back inside I do 5 minutes of physio exercises to address some ongoing pain I’ve been having.
- I sit/kneel and drink my tea while I write a page or so. I haven’t worked out yet exactly what to focus on but it’s all about connecting with me - where I am now and where I'd like to be, and how to get there.
- Breakfast, then get on with the day.

The whole thing takes around 75 minutes and I’m ready to leave the house. I’m loving sort of tricking myself into getting up and on it.

My morning routine is still new (day 13 today) but I’m already feeling loads better, despite having PMT right now which would often mean I would be quite a mess. Plus I managed to keep it going when I was away visiting friends, when it rained, and when I had a couple of very early starts. The physio exercises and bouncing on the gym ball are things I've been meaning to do for months and months, I just never made the time. So that's also making me feel pretty good / smug.

I live by myself so it would be a different routine for people who share their home with a partner, children, pets, friends or housemates. But where can you reclaim 2 minutes, or even 5, for yourself?

We are WAY more habitual than we’d like to admit. Studies have shown that approximately 45% (and likely more) of our decisions are habit-based. So if want to change your life, introduce a new habit. Just look at what 2 minutes twice a day can do when it comes to the habit of brushing our teeth.

I’d love to hear your routines, or what you might do while the kettle boils, to bring you back to yourself. (Deep breaths, stretches, press ups, singing…?)

Sending you love,
Ruth Nadia

ps. The picture is of Bowthorpe Oak in Lincolnshire - apparently England's oldest Oak tree, and very huggable, if you ask me...

pps. My morning routine is inspired by listening to Dr Rangan Chatterjee's podcast, Feel Better, Live More. Sooooo inspiring! https://drchatterjee.com/blog/category/podcast/

My Colonoscopy

10/13/2019

I had a colonoscopy last week.

For anyone who doesn’t know, a colonoscopy is a procedure that involves a camera being inserted up your back passage and traveling along your colon to see what is going on. (I’m not poorly or anything - just general grumbling bowel issues.)

Do I have no dignity, posting about this??? Ha ha perhaps. But actually, I really value being able to talk about the difficult, awkward stuff that most people don’t talk about, so that we don’t feel so alone.

I’m not really talking about my colonoscopy here anyway (which I LOVED by the way.) I’m talking about breathing and releasing. After all, this is a massage page.

Breathing and releasing.

I managed to make it through quite an uncomfortable procedure using only breathing and releasing.

No sedation. No gas and air.

I’m not going to lie – the colonoscopy was painful / uncomfortable. I have a bendy colon apparently, and the person in charge found it hard to get round the bends. Also, they fill the colon with air to see clearly and to get the camera through, which feels like trapped wind, because that is basically what it is. I wasn’t particularly enjoying it.

Then I remembered my breath.

No wonder breath work is a big part of giving birth; the breath is INCREDIBLE. Using my breath was like having my own set of remote controls for the whole thing – amazing. I relaxed. I knew the gas and air was there if I needed it, but I was enjoying being in charge myself.

When I was asked by a nurse me what I would normally be doing on a Wednesday, I felt a bit rude, but I asked if they would mind just leaving me to do my breathing.

They did.

And it was magic.

I was left in peace to watch the journey up the inside of my colon on the screen – it was AWESOME. I breathed and I farted through the pain.

Did I say I farted? I mean ‘I released.’

Releasing can take many forms, but if you’re holding onto something that is causing you pain, and you don’t need to hold onto it any more, just let it go. Maybe it will come out as a fart, maybe as breath, maybe as tears, who knows.

During a colonoscopy, once you’ve been pumped with air, after a while, that air just needs to be released, otherwise it really hurts.

They tell you beforehand to fart. A friend of mine who does that same job, when I asked her, her top tip was to fart, so there it was in black and white. I needed to fart.

During the procedure, I did some proper corkers, and it seemed like the team were really proud of me for doing them, which hasn’t been the case since I was a baby.

What a funny situation – doing massive farts, and being congratulated by a room of medical professionals that I had never met before, as though I had just given some oscar-winning performance.

I think it felt safer, doing massive farts, when I knew that the air I was farting out was never mine in the first place – it had been pumped into me by someone else.

Which got me thinking – how much of our baggage is really ours anyway???

Probably not so much.

Just let it go.

So that is the story of how I made it through a colonoscopy using the natural pain relief that we all have - our breath, and our ability to release.

These bodies of ours are amazing, and our minds are more powerful than we think.

Whatever you're holding on to - just let it go. The chances are, it was never yours in the first place.

Sending autumnal full moon love to you all.

My last few massages before Panto are:

Tuesday 15th October
Thursday 24th October
Monday 4th November
Thursday 7th November

Get in touch to book, or if you can only make a different date I have some flexibility.

Ruth Nadia x

ps. Remember, when lots of us were wearing shorts...? This photo is from last month. I do love September.

Playing at being an adult

9/23/2019

Anyone else feel like they're just PRETENDING to be a grown up???

This was me back when I was about 2 and not much has changed. (In fact my nokia phone is pretty similar to the one in the photo...)

The more I talk to people, the more I discover that I'm not the only one pretending to be a grown up. I'm not the only one feeling really unconfident but seeming totally confident.

Even the wisest of teachers - I have heard them say similar things.

People are funny.

I love them all the same.

Happy video

9/8/2019

Good morning, happy Monday!

This is one of my favourite music videos to cheer me up. (Honestly, give it a watch) I'd love to know what music video does it for you???

Mindfulness

9/2/2019

What can I say - I cry a lot. I just do.

I remember one time when I was at uni, realising that I cried more than anyone I knew. The more I had the thought, the more I felt like a failure and the more I cried. Crying is very familiar for me, I think I kind of like it too...

Last week I spent 4 days with the incredible Barbara Houseman, working on voice and mindfulness. When I signed up to the course, I didn't pay much attention to the word 'mindfulness.' I think I kind of hoped I'd be able to avoid it and just work on the voice stuff.

But actually, the first thing she had us do was to sit down, close our eyes and notice our bodies and our breath and to show ourselves kindness.

Kindness.

WHY IS THAT SUCH A RADICAL IDEA????

As soon as I try to be kind to myself, another part of me jumps up and says 'You don't deserve kindness! You are self-obsessed as it is. You think about yourself soooo much that you should be punished.'

Cue more tears.

And not just from me - lots of the other people in the group seemed to be going through similar things.

Oh aren't we funny?

I can spend hours and hours and days and years giving myself a hard time and calling myself a bad person, but as soon as I try to be kind to myself, the brakes screech on.

I guess I really DON'T deserve kindness.

And I'm scared of thinking that I do..

But we don't need to dwell on that.

Or maybe we do.

Maybe by sitting back and 'watching the show', we get to actually see our thoughts as they come up, rather than suddenly being hit by them as if they've come out of nowhere. We get to see what's ACTUALLY going on.

Ooooh, actually, it was the thought of this that led to that and to that led to that and back to my fear of not being loved by my dad. For example.

Then be kind to whatEVER comes up. All of it. Yes, I am scared of rejection. Yes, I reject first to be safe. Yes, there is a part of me that thinks I don't deserve kindness - well, I will be kind to THAT part of me. It won't know what's hit it! Things are much more likely to pass quickly if you just show them kindness.

It's all just weather. It won't last for ever. (great quote, thanks Barbara!)

AND somewhere out there (maybe even right next to you) is someone going through the same struggle.

I know I know I have heard this stuff before, but I might need to hear it a hundred times before I really hear it. (Or a thousand).

I had a really cool moment during the week, where we were walking around the room and I suddenly realised:

'I will always be ON MY WAY. I'll never quite get there. THAT is life. THAT is where I am.'
And I looked around the room at all the other brilliant humans and I thought how lucky I was to be with them right now, exactly where they are on their journey (tears and all).

Life sometimes feels extra specially precious.

Yes, I cry. Probably just a few minutes after that wonderful realisation, I cried again, but I think I'm learning to be actually ok with that.

We are all on our journeys.

And as radical and ridiculous and self-obsessed as it seems to give myself love and kindness, it's no more ridiculous and self-obsessed than telling myself I'm the WORST. Plus, the kindness does seem to help me move through stuff in a positive way. So I think I'll continue.

And I LOVE this work that I do, this massaging - I love listening to people and providing them with what they ask for in such a simple way. It feels a lot like the mindfulness I was learning this week. Whatever you bring to me, let's just treat it with kindness.

It made me think of my massage training - one day the teacher was talking about dealing with a tricky area in the body. A 'door' let's call it. Some people get out the battering ram to SMASH out through that door. But what if you just love the door as it is - you clean it up, you give it a polish, you stroke it and compliment it. What a lovely door, you say. And then, you bring flowers, and you lay them all down around the door, and you wait. Maybe. Just maybe that door will get opened.
Oh why does it feel so much easier to lay flowers and bring kindness to other people's doors?

Yes I will probably always be someone who cries easily, but I don't think I am a failure. I am going to have a go at giving up the battering ram.

Flowers for all!

Ruth Nadia x

Photo credit to my awesome old old friend Charlotte. We've seen plenty of each other's tears and I think we love each other even because of them.

And a big shout out to Both Feet Actor Training for bringing Barbara Houseman and her mindfulness teaching into my life.

The best time to plant a tree

8/1/2019

Laughter is contagious - how could I ever feel sad around this little guy?? Here is
my nephew being delighted with his own reflection.

He has so much unquestioning self-belief in himself - if he wants something, he goes for it. How many years have I wasted, telling myself, 'You're not good enough, you'll never be good enough, you don't deserve this, all those other people are better than you.'? (More than I can count on my fingers and toes, that's for sure...)

I had a job yesterday and in the few days before, I was telling myself: "You're not good enough. You don't deserve this. You won't be able to do it. You'll mess this up for ever and never be asked back"

Honestly, try living with a friend like that! You wouldn't bother. I found myself feeling even MORE unconfident and unqualified and just SAD. Then yesterday morning, I gave myself a kick up the bum: "Ruth, they have offered you the job. YOUR job is to get on with it. It's that simple." It really helped. I had a fantastic day yesterday.

And I felt like a bit of a hypocrite because only 2 days before, I was talking to a friend about how she thinks she isn't good at languages, but actually she's really good at French. I was saying, "You ARE good. Your problem is that you keep saying to yourself that you're not confident with languages and it's a waste of time and energy - you're just procrastinating, putting your energy into that thought, rather than studying. The only way you will get better is if you just work on it. Take the no confidence thing out of the equation and just go to the lessons and do the homework." And I felt all motivational and powerful and wise and then I came home and did EXACTLY what I'd been preaching to her about not doing...

But hey. Life is a big long journey of learning. And they say:

The best time to plant a tree was 100 years ago.
The second best time is now.

So OK, I have spent 30+ years giving myself a hard time. Sure, it would have been great to have believed in myself the whole time. But since I didn't, the best time to start is now. It takes effort, but bring it on.

I hope that my nephew keeps hold of his positive can do attitude for ever.

My mum

6/28/2019

My mum has always been an inspiration to me - she is the reason I have no fear of getting older. When I look at mum, being in your 70s means: lots of time with friends and family, walking, coffee dates, dancing, yoga, theatre, volunteering, concerts. Basically, lots of ACTIVITIES and a big appreciation of life.

Mum has been going for lots of different treatments lately and I was asking her, 'Why now, all this self-care?'

"I have to. I want to be able to look after my grandchildren."

Mum is so wise. If you aren't ok, how can you be there for others? She came for a massage with me today and it was such an honour to give some love back to this incredible woman.

Thank you mum.

Ruth Nadia x

ps: Mum chose to come on the day the SUN burst out. Happy Summer to you all at last.