Last week, all of a sudden, I wasn’t a massage therapist or an actor or a cycle instructor any more. I was jobless and mega stressed and I turned job searching into my new 24 hour job. I panicked and stayed up late and rushed around the city forcing my CV onto unsuspecting people in jobs, then went home and re-worked it and re-worked it and applied for every job going online and I couldn’t even really talk or listen to the people I loved because I had a serious one track job mind. And I definitely couldn’t listen to myself. NO TIME.
In a place of panic, and lack of sleep, I thought that I could afford to let the morning routine go. But I was wrong. The morning routine was the one thing I needed more than anything.
I’ve calmed down lots now, and have some exciting possibilities for the future in terms of work, but I wanted to tell you about the most surprising and useful part of my morning routine that has really been coming into its own lately.
Ah now hang on, that isn’t fair - that’s favouritism. Listen, I love ALL of the different parts of my morning routine - they’re all valuable in their own way. It’s not fair to single out one part as the best, but when I wrote about my morning routine in January, I hadn’t worked out what to do in the writing part of it. And that’s why it feels extra special now. (But also, it IS great. (But also so are all the other parts). (But...)) - Enough bickering.
GET ON WITH IT! (As they say in Monty Python)
Here it is:
I write, for one page of A4 (or more, if I feel like it, which usually I don’t) and the prompt is:
"Speak your truth".
That is it.
"Hear that truth."
In that week when I wasn’t doing my morning routine, things were changing so fast that all I could do was fight fires. It was crisis management. Underneath the busyness, how was I? Not great. ‘But there’s not time to go there right now.’ was what I thought. No time.
It is always worth taking time to check in with yourself.
When one of my best friends died years ago, I remember that suddenly I found the question, “How are you?” really intrusive. It was like, ‘Get out of me head! I haven’t invited you in here!’
Being asked to speak your truth can be quite a big deal. Like, this morning, at first I thought I was fine. And then by the end of the page I was crying my eyes out thinking up a way that I might possibly be able to hold somebody else’s hand, involving lots of hand sanitizer and facing away from each other and not breathing and being outside.
And then other times, I realise that speaking my truth isn’t so deep at all. It's simply that I am tired. Or perhaps I am hungry. (Usually I am hungry.).
After my writing this morning, I realised that words weren’t enough, and I danced for an hour to a 5 rhythms playlist created by the awesome Silvija Tomcik (Link at the end of this post)
So now I’m back. Sort of. Well, at least I’m finding enough words to write again.
And if writing isn’t for you, just try SOME way of expressing yourself and your truth - music, dance, art, sport. Whatever it is for you. Because only when you know where you are, can you move forward.
Ach come on - that was good and deep, that one!! I surprise myself sometimes.
“You can only move forward when you know where you are right now.” said Ruth Nadia. (And probably someone else before me.)
So how are you? Have you allowed yourself a little space to feel it? I’d love to hear from you.
And if you’d like a dedicated space to talk through how you are, I am offering 45 minute phonecalls for £10 (or more if you can afford more) The phonecalls are quite similar to the chat we have before you have a massage with me - it’s a space for you to speak your truth, and to be heard.
I had my first phonecall with a client today, and I loved being able to offer that precious space, so let me know if you’d like to book in.
Wishing you all of the love in the world,
Ruth Nadia x
A link to the original post about my morning routine: http://www.ruthnadiamassage.com/musings/morning-routines
Here is the link to Silvija Tomcik's gorgeous playlist for dancing to. Whether you know about 5 rhythms or not, turn it on and dance: