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Let's talk about lurve

2/14/2022

Years ago I was hitchhiking back from the north of Scotland where I'd gone for a solar eclipse.

Hitchhiking can be tough! Sometimes you wonder if you'll be stuck there forever. And then a car stops. And it's wonderful.

One time I'd finished hitching for the day. I was about to climb a hill before camping. It felt good not to want anything anymore from the drivers on the road.

A van drove past. I looked at the driver and we smiled at each other. That was it! Just 2 humans meeting for a few seconds, then moving on.

This was in 2003, but I still feel happy remembering it. I LOVE moments like this.

What do you love?

I love wild swimming.
I love cherry blossom.
I love conversations and connections and getting hot and sweaty.
I love hot baths and cold lakes and gentle touch.
I love sad songs and cheesy happy dance music and talking about Macbeth.
I love my family and my friends and my bed and rice.
I love that moment of seeing the sea for the first time and a surprise letter from a friend.
I love the giggles of delight of my nephews, or of anyone, really.
I love trees and crispy sand on the beach that I can crinkle up until it flows through my fingers.
I love frozen mud and thai green curry and Nina Simone and people getting passionate about what they love.
I love sweet peas and jamming with friends and that moment in the audience when the cast do their bows.
I love a bloody good massage and a bloody good conversation and a bloody good hug.
I love being there when someone learns to ride a bike, or takes their first steps, or moves through some difficult stuff and comes out the other side.
Love is all around us.

It's made me smile SO much writing this list. But did I miss anything???

It would be such a treat to read about what YOU love in the comments.
Thank you all for following and liking and commenting on what I share. It means a lot.

Ruth Nadia x

Ps. The photo is of me loving my dad saying BOO!

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A different perspective

2/5/2022

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Sometimes all we need is a good night's sleep.

Or a different perspective.

It can be annoying how simple that sounds.

I was talking to a good friend last night who was going through a situation. She was imagining the worst case scenario in her head and feeling terrible.

Today her outlook was totally different. Yes, the worst case was possible, but so were many other outcomes.

She was a different person. Just from time. And sleep. And a bit of space to talk it through.

I love that we have the power to look at exactly the same situation from many different angles.

And I love being there with people on that journey. (I was so PROUD of her reading her texts this morning!)

Things can feel so final in the moment.

But things change.

Whether it's through talking, writing, dance, music, art, exercise, massage or sleep, there's a different way of seeing things, waiting for you on the other side.

I feel like this photo sort of sums it up - it's the same old me, but through a hole in a wall I just look more FUN.
And it was only possible because I had a friend to take it.

Sending love to you all, wherever you are. I hope you find the space for different perspectives this weekend.

If you'd like to bring something to me to work through in a massage space, I'd love to see you.

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Breakups and heartache and cold water swimming.

2/2/2022

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I learnt a lot about myself and my resilience from cold water swimming. I went from being a massive faffer to someone who just wades in and gets on with it.

And it all started with a quick meditation by Kristin Neff.

Soooo, this is what I learnt from Kristin, the 3 ingredients of self-compassion:

1) "This is a moment of suffering."
- as I get into the cold water, I acknowledge, yup, this is not pleasant.

2) "Suffering is a part of life"
- I remind myself that the only way to get a swim is to go through the 'getting in bit'.

3) "May I be kind to myself in this moment"- this adds softness and stops me from shaming myself if I DO make a fuss.

Just those 3 sentences totally changed how I enter cold water.

So what happens when I use the sentences on a recent break up I've gone through?

1) I acknowledge that yes, my heart is breaking. It hurts.

2) I remind myself that I only have this pain because I loved so deeply, and I don't want to give up loving. If I want deep relationships, sometimes it will hurt.

3) THIS is my life's work: being kinder to myself.

I have an old unhelpful habit of being really critical of myself - I predict my own failure before it happens, to 'protect' myself. I say the nasty things to myself first, before anyone else can.

Initially, after this breakup, I went straight to listing my failures and all the reasons I will never find love. Even calling myself a failure.

Adding kindness to that has meant reminding myself that I'm human. None of us are perfect. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work.

And also, maybe instead of analysing it right now, I can go and see some friends or go for a swim and FIND my joy again. See how joyous I am in the photo!

Learning to be kind to yourself is something I suspect that happens little decision by little decision. Let's start now.

And as I was in the cold cold water, I wondered if maybe I'm a bit of a pro at painful stuff. So this thing that I was dreading happening, this thing that really hurts, maybe I can just go through it like I do the cold water. From all that practice.

Is this too deep for a Wednesday afternoon? I'd love to know if it speaks to you.

I'm not sharing my story for sympathy, but because I hope you find it useful or at least interesting.

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Let's talk about lurve

A different perspective

Breakups and heartache and cold water swimming.

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